Multi-tasking in Dating

According to Psychology Today, what our mommas have been telling us for years isn’t quite true. While yes we can multi-task, it slows down our progress, we tend to make more errors, and we expend more energy. Even though the article does not  spell it out, I suspect we don’t enjoy what we are doing as much either.

So let’s look at multi-tasking from a dating perspective. Many of us were taught to date around, keep our options open, free but protected love, take our time making the decision on to whom to entrust or heart. For the most part that is all well and good, but isn’t this the same thing as multi-tasking?

If we are chatting up several people, have a Monday boyfriend, a Tuesday FWB, and a Wednesday hook up, have we truly devoted ourselves to any one person long enough or thoroughly enough to determine if he is the right guy.

I remember back with AOL was the virtual place to be. This was back when there were probably 100 men online to every woman. Whenever I entered the chat rooms, I would watch my screen explode with dozens of chat requests. While it was easy to weed out the obvious scum, trying to narrow down the selection was a challenge. I’d end up chatting with three or four people at a time, not really paying attention to any of them.

Dating more than on guy at a time is kind of the same way. Once you’ve narrowed your selection down, it is hard to give any single guy 100 percent of your available date time, attention, not to mention entertainment dollars. You are multi-tasking under the guise of not getting too involved too fast.

But what if one of those guys is really a diamond in the rough. What if he is THE ONE, and you are so busy giving all those guys pieces your attention that you don’t notice until it is too late? What if you fail to make him feel like he is important in your life? What happens then? Even if you don’t believe in a single soul mate, how long before you get a shot at another true match?

It is something to think about, isn’t it? In the grand scheme of things, would be better off doing a whole lot less multi-tasking, including in our love lives.

 

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